Monday, July 26, 2010

HELP! I Need Sombody (Old Beatles Song)

I need your help. I will admit that I am a stinking rotten spoiled brat. I have been lucky that way. Since my kids were little I had help. Not a nanny or babysitter in tow but I had a lovely young lady, Silva (now Silvia), come to my house two or three times a week for most of the day and well, do it all. When she found that she was pregnant she replaced herself with her cousin that was just coming to the United States from Lithuania by way of Sweden. That was my Rima. From day one, talking by way of a translation book we hit it off. That was 12 years ago. She left me in December, suffering from depression and there has been a void in my life. It's not just that I have to do stuff myself that I don't even know how to do, but I miss HER. Truly, I don't know what the average non employed 60 year old does to get stains out, etc.etc. Every day it's something else that I feel like an idiot not knowing what to do, what to use or where it is. I spend an excessive amount of time looking for things that I thought we had; a scrub brush, garden gloves, whatever.

I have tried two 'cleaning ladies' and I know I am looking for an impossible role to fill but I at least need someone that doesn't ask me what they can polish and what they can't. How the hell would I know? I didn't even know anything was polished. I like when I go to open the kitchen cupboard that it isn't sticky from my last cooking jag. I like my clothes cleaned and put away by someone other than myself.

Everyone always asks how I can accomplish so much. Well, my secret is out. I don't do the other stuff; the stuff that is dull and dreary and take up everyone's time. That's how I did it. Not so much lately.

So, here's where I can use your help. I am going to place a Help Wanted ad. G and I have tried
to formulate one but it sounds silly and makes me sound like the laziest person in the world. I am not good at this sort of thing. My criteria are

10 to 20 hours a week
Negotiable time frame
Self directed
Negotiable wages
Loves Bella
Pretty much take over all house responsibilities except
cooking and husband

If you were placing an ad, what would you say, not say, add or eliminate? That is, of course, if you still like me after my bold and pathetic confession? Nope, I am not going to quote Sally Field even tho' I am sorely tempted.


spikemuffin said...

You're going to have to rely on referrals from someone you know. Rima was irreplaceable. "Want ads" could really be scary!

Anonymous said...

Your life would be a very funny comedy! And at least you're willing to openly admit that you're a spoiled brat! It's the spoiled brats that don't want to admit it that drive the rest of us regular people crazy! And I know you love to cook and are really good at it, but if I were in your place, I'd have someone doing the cooking as well! Can you go back to your original lady and see if she has anymore great prospects? I agree the "want ads" can be awfully scary!

Anonymous said...

Maybe if you threw in G, that would sweeten the pot!

Cindra said...

I think you need to say must love dogs... you usually have more than Bella around.
Also must enjoy people... there are always people around.
Be flexible...I don't see your home as being a routine based home.
Darn, if I lived closer and liked to clean, I would go for the job, but I don't like to clean. LOL! I just think it would be fun to be at your house!!

Anonymous said...

I think that in this economy you might find someone who ordinarily might not even think of being a domestic worker. I would advertise the flexible hours thing that could appeal to a mom with kids in school. And those moms all know how to clean. References would be crucial, and there's always google.

Anonymous said...

Want ads are scary....but not ' a want ad at the LB gym'...or perhaps the Beacher...just keep it local...... maybe even put it in the employee lounge at "your country club" (via the Manager perhaps)....

and the last line would be better suited to say "have a great sense of humor" instead of husband remark. You ARE hilarious but not everybody knows/understands your humor until they meet you!!!!!!!!


Diane said...

I don't know what to tell you, but if you get two that sound good send one to me!

dee said...

If it gets any crazier around here I may be looking to re-locate..Sounds like a job I could easily do and of course I adore the pup!

Rian said...

Isn't there an agency you can call?

Anonymous said...

As someone who has been looking for a job recently and has talked with many human resource folks, I can tell you that once you post or print an ad your ad will be picked up by all of the online job posting companies. People will apply just to meet the the unemployment quotient where they are required to apply for so many jobs a week. Others will apply out of desperation b/c the economy is so bad. Do not give out your phone number b/c it can be traced back to you with the reverse directory. Set up an email account just for people to apply and tell them to place info in the body of the email, not as an attachment. It's really better if you can go through an agency or use word of mouth.


Reggie/Genie said...

Who knew you would elicit so many comments on domestic help???? What Sally Field quote???? How about you just get Rima some anti depressants - problem solved......I am too busy doing my own crap and I hate it so I cannot apply although I am always looking to make an extra buck or two. G would have to be out of the house if I were there; we both talk way too much......I am back in IN and happy to be here!!!